When It Rains It Pours

I remember when I was a kids I was home alone while my mom was out at the store, or running errands, and the phone rang. Yes I know that this dates me. I am old enough to have grown up with landlines being the primary phone source for communication! We didn't even have email until I was about to graduate from college. Anyway, The phone rang and I answered it in my most polite voice. Side note - This is a lost skill for the majority of today's youth. Without a landline and with the addition of caller ID we have lost the skill of answering a shared line and being polite since we do not who might be on the other end of the line. Technology! Again, back to the initial story. So the phone rang and I answered it in my best polite 13 year old voice said, "South residence, how may I help you?"

I was proud, I was home alone, and answered the phone correctly even when no one was around to hear me. Then the voice on the other end of the line says to me, "Congratulations, you have been selected to win a prize package valued at over $2000.00." I couldn't believe it. I had won! I was a winner! Then she continued to describe the prize package, which I didn't listen to at all, because I was so excited that I had won! I was a winner! 'Winner, winner, chicken dinner!' Then I realized that the voice on the other end of the phone was asking me a question. I wasn't listening. I didn't know what she was saying. I was a winner after all, and I didn't need to worry about anything else!

She repeated her question again, she could have repeated it a dozen times, but I will never know, because I was not listening! Finally I paid attention and listened to the question. She was asking me if I was ready to answer the trivia question in order to win the prize. What!!! I had to answer trivia to get the cash? No fair! So I took in a deep breath and answered, yes, I'm ready to answer the question.

I began pacing the house, even before the question was asked. I was about to panic, knowing that I could possibly answer this question incorrectly and loose my prize!!!! My parents would kill me. I waited, she paused.

I waited for the question. I waited and waited, and I worried, and worried. Finally, she asked! "What common kitchen product and food enhancement uses the slogan, 'When it Rains it Pours?'"

What? How would I know that? I was only 13. I had no clue. I was devastated. I just lost $2000.00. My parents were going to kill me. "Could you give me a hint?" I replied. The sound on the other end of the line was a muffled laugh, but I was undeterred. I was going to get that money! "Excuse me," I heard over the phone. "Did you just ask for a hint?"

"Yes, I don't have a clue what you are asking about." I think at this point I was on the verge of crying. It is so hard to be a adolescent teen boy. Emotions are not something that a young boy can get a grasp of even when money is not involved. So I know I was a mess at this point. I asked again for a hint. The reply I received was no help at all. "You probably have this on your dinner table," the annoying voice that already knew the answer and couldn't figure out why I had no idea what the answer was going to be.

"I have it on my table?" I responded. I was grasping for straws! "I don't know. I guess it's water." I thought it was a logical guess, even though bottled water was not even close to being in fashion yet. When it rains it pours, WATER. Right? Then I heard the sigh on the other end of the line. "Are you sure?" she asked. "No, of course not." was what I wished I had said, but in reality I think I was in full blown tears at this point. I blubbered something unintelligible, but then she blurted out, "You sprinkle it on your food, to make it taste better."

She probably didn't want to have to deal with the complete and total breakdown that I was quickly slipping into. But, luckily for her, her words sparked something in my brain. Pepper!! It was pepper. I love pepper. "Pepper," I blurted out, and as fast as I had said it, she exclaimed, "NO, THE OTHER ONE."

"Salt?" I said. "Do you mean it's salt?"

There was a long sigh of relief, then I heard "Yes, congratulations, that's the right answer. 'Morton's Salt, When It Rains It Pours,' You are a winner!"

Now keep in mind, until this point, the voice on the other end of the phone line had yet to ask my age. Until now. I'm not sure if she heard the frustration and horror in my voice when she told me I was wrong, or if the fact that my voice had not completed it's change, which if I'm honest, never dropped very low. I still get called, "Mam," at nearly every single drive through window. Then the voice came out of the phone, "How old are you?"

"What? What did you ask?" I stumbled over the words. What was she asking me? What question was this? "I'm 13. 13 years old," I stated emphatically, and followed it up with a timid, "Why?"

"I'm sorry, you have to be 18 to win. I'm sorry, is you mom or dad there?" she politely asked. "No," I said in a moment of sheer terror. Didn't she know I was a kid, Or had I done such a good job answering the phone, that she assumed I was an adult. Well, you know what that say about assuming, right! "I'm sorry," I heard from the end of the line. But then I heard a glorious sound before I could respond. My mom was coming in the front door! "She's here, she's here," called out. "My mom is here!"

I ran to my mom and covering the mouth piece of the phone, I told her all about the prize and the fact that I had won it. My mom was going to be elated. $2000.00. It wasn't even Christmas, but I was giving her the best gift of the year! My mom, setting the bags of groceries down that she was holding in her arms, began to huff. I was confused. She made a weird and unknowable face at me and took the phone from my hands.

"Hello, yes, this is Mrs. South. No. No. He's only 13. No. No. We don't need it right now. No thank you. No, I'm really not interested. Good bye." These words were so disconnected from the reality that I had just been living. She was saying NO? But how? I just won $2000.00.

"But what about the money?" I implored. "There is no money." She snapped back. "It was a telemarketer. She was trying to sell you the newspaper. Please help me put away these groceries."
She went into mom kitchen mode and I was stunned. My 'Major Award,' my grand prize, my cash was gone. She just took it from me.

Sometimes, that's how life goes. We think we have it all together and everything is great, then in swoops a larger more powerful presence and our lives are turned upside down. This happens frequently in the life of a child. We don't always stop and think about what effect our "Parental" actions might have on our children. They are trying so hard to be independent and to run their own lives, but we don't always stop and think about how our decisions impact their lives.

Children need guidance, I know I sure did, but they also need to be able to make some decisions for themselves. My Morton's Salt incident still sticks out to me as one of those moments that I thought I knew what I was doing, and I was so excited about it, but in the end, my mom was right. She was able to catch my mistake and put a stop to it before it got out of control.

God does this for us too. He lets us make out own decisions, he watches us to see how we react and how we respond, but he is also always there to throw us a life line when we need it. He will save us from our own despair. He can put an end to the incessant voices in our ears telling us that we can have $2000.00 if we will just say the 'right' thing. He stops the empty promises of the world, and protects us from the grasp of Satan.

Thank you Mom for saving me from the greedy telemarketer and teaching me a lesson, that I am just now really starting to understand.